


one more troubled soul

by acronymed



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Dumb Angry Boyfriends, M/M, eren finds it charming for some reason, i'm so bad at writing anything sexy sorry, jean is too awkward for life, lab sex is the worst kind of sex, no one hates their life like jean hates his life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 18:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1398040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acronymed/pseuds/acronymed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are reasons Eren and Jean shouldn't be left alone together. Reasons like: sometimes, they accidentally destroy Hanji's lab via terrible blow jobs. </p>
<p>For EreJean week on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	one more troubled soul

**Author's Note:**

> these two are hotter than the sun and dumb-dee-dumb-dumb-dumb and i'll ship them in hell. the prompt is "flirting" but hahahaha these dumbasses can't flirt to save their lives i love them

This is not how Jean wants to spend the first day off he's had in weeks.

"Hanji," Eren groans, while the tip of yet another needle slides into the soft skin at the crook of his elbow, "how many more things are you gonna stick in me?"

_This is how I die,_ Jean thinks desperately, as his brain goes to a very bad place, pointedly _not_ staring at Eren's tan chest, Eren's tan _gloriously naked_ chest, or really Eren in general. Instead, he watches the lights on the machine Hanji's hooked Eren up to flicker on and off. This does absolutely nothing to make him forget about Eren being shirtless. Dammit.

Hanji's smile is all teeth. "Just a few more, I swear."

"Ugh," Eren says, sulking. Jean coughs to cover his laugh. "This sucks."

Hanji's eyes widen, and something dangerous pricks at the corners of her mouth. "This is for _science_."

"Did you just purr," Jean wheezes, vaguely horrified. Eren cringes.

"Last one Eren, promise."

"You said that ten minutes ago!"

"What are you, five?"

"You wanna come over here and take my place, shithead? Didn't think so."

Hanji's lips kick up on one side when she tapes the last sensor to Eren's stomach. "I knew it was a good idea to have him come along."

Jean rolls his eyes. "I still don't know how the hell I ended up here. Shouldn't Mikasa and Armin be holding your hand, asshole?"

Eren, oddly, won't meet his eyes. "They, uh, couldn't make it."

"And you're a much better distraction," Hanji chirps, like both their heads aren't swivelling towards her so quickly they'll probably have lasting damage. "Eren's barely noticed half these needles."

Eren blinks dumbly at Jean. Jean blinks back. Eren scratches his cheek. "Uh."

Hanji wipes her hands on her pants and straightens up. "Alright, I'll come back and check on you in an hour or so, okay? We should have a good baseline for all your vitals by then."

Jean rolls his shoulders, goes, "I'm gonna go get some food," and then suddenly there are long fingers clenched tightly around his palm.

"You are not leaving me here to suffer for an hour, you inconsiderate fuck," Eren hisses, those too bright eyes of his slightly manic. Jean could punch himself for continuing to find Eren unfathomably fucking hot. "You can eat later."

"But," Jean starts, and Eren widens his eyes.

"Please?"

Jean stops moving towards the door and settles against the reclining seat opposite Eren's. _It should be illegal to have eyes that pretty,_ he thinks miserably. The tightness in his chest fades slowly.

It gets really uncomfortable pretty quickly (see: Eren not wearing clothes and looking like himself) and Jean finds himself thinking about all the times they've been alone together the past few months and _haha wow_ getting a boner would be _really fucking awkward right now Jean so how about you not._

"So," Jean says casually, as if he isn't thinking about crawling on top of Eren - which, not his fault, Eren is stupidly attractive and sprawled across a table and he's a guy, he has _needs_ \- and reconsidering most of his life choices, "how do you feel?"

Eren, for his part, looks entirely over everything. "I'm being poked and prodded by sharp objects; how do you think I feel?"

"I could poke and prod you with something else?" Jean suggests, because he is an idiot, holy shit, what the _actual fuck_. Eren stares at him blankly. "Or not. Whatever."

"Did you just - what - I - what -"

"Shut up," Jean says, with as much dignity as possible, burying his face in his hands. "Oh my God."

There's a long, awkward pause where the only sound is Eren's heart monitor attempting to break the sound barrier. As it gradually starts to slow, Jean peeks out at him from between his fingers.

Eren's blushing and it's _adorable_. Jean decides he should just go throw himself into a Titan's mouth right now before his feelings spiral any more out of control.

"You could," Eren finally says. His chin's against his chest, so his words are muffled. "I mean, if you want to."

Jean rubs his neck. This is how it goes, usually - as in, one of them says something astoundingly stupid (him) and the other one for some reason finds it charming (Eren) and then they get naked - but it still catches him off guard every time. "Uh."

Eren straightens up and watches him patiently, his eyes wide and expectant and _so goddamn green_. "Well?"

Jean doesn't even know why he pretends to try and resist anymore.

"Fuck sake's," he mutters and climbs into Eren's lap.

He almost elbows Eren in the stomach, which, wow, _so romantic_ , he should get an award. His legs are too long and he has to hunch to keep from towering over Eren, his knees threatening to slide off the edges of the stretcher. The corners of Eren's lips are curling gently, though, so it can't be all bad.

Jean stares at Eren's cute little smile lines and then kisses them because he wants to. Eren turns an enticing shade of pink, so Jean does it again to be a dick.

"Stop it," Eren huffs, trying to lean away while tugging at Jean's clothes. Jean's lips catch the corner of his eye as Eren tilts his head to the side. The flush goes all the way down. "Idiot."

Jean grins, kisses the underside of Eren's jaw, watches his eyebrows furrow as he struggles to focus on Jean's pants. "Man, it's a good thing we're the only ones here."

"Why do you think I told Mikasa and Armin not to come?" Eren says, absently, his fingers hot under Jean's waistband. Jean's breathing stutters, but Eren doesn't notice; he gives up on the zipper and wraps his palms around Jean's bare hips instead.

"You did what?"

Eren takes a sudden interest in the ceiling. "Um."

"Wait, were you planning on groping me mid-science experiment or is this just a delightful bonus?"

Eren pushes his hands under Jean's shirt, running them up his spine and cupping his shoulder blades. His smile is almost soft. "I would hardly call you delightful."

"Do you want me to get off you, or get you _off?_ "

"Please, like you could walk away," Eren says into his ear, and kisses him.

And that's the thing, see, about wanting Eren Jaeger - Jean doesn't think it's physically possible to stop once you start. Eren, with his eyes and his opinions and his tan and his loud, obnoxious voice whispering in Jean's ear when they're together, with his soft fingers and perfect mouth and awful jokes and burning intensity.

Eren, who terrifies Jean in more ways than one.

"I liked you so much better when I was just fantasizing about you naked," Jean grumbles against Eren's lips, not for the first time. "But I'm probably gonna fuck you anyway."

"Score," Eren beams, sounding way too pleased with himself, and runs his knuckles up Jean's side in a slow drag that makes Jean swallow.

"Could you at least pretend to be seduced?"

Eren flutters his lashes, tucking the sweet curve of his mouth behind his teeth and _holy fuck Jean is going to die._ "Oh, _Jean._ "

"It was hot until you opened your mouth," Jean sighs, nose bumping Eren's temple. He spits out a mouthful of hair. Eren slaps him on the shoulder. Jean doubts this is normal foreplay for most people.

He lips his way across Eren's chest, over the peak of one nipple and then down his side, his tongue rolling between every dip and ridge. Eren whines quietly and pushes his shoulders down into the seat so his back arches.

Jean grins against the sharp line of his hip, fingers fumbling over the buttons on Eren's pants. "Excited, much?"

"Oh my God," Eren groans, "if you ruin this by talking I will _actually_ hurt you."

Jean snorts and pushes Eren's pants low enough that he can get his dick out, thumb rubbing along the base. Eren's jaw clicks he closes it so hard.

Jean loves this, even if he'll never admit it. Loves that he can make Eren's face scrunch up with pleasure just by pressing his lips to the underside of his cock, loves the little half desperate sounds Eren makes when Jean's lips stretch around the head, slick with spit.

If he'd known blowing Eren would make him shut up, Jean probably would have done it years ago. And he probably would have enjoyed it just as much as he does now, if he's being honest, because he's come to terms with the fact that he's been nursing some kind of weird hate-crush on Eren for most of his teen years. His life, sometimes.

"Hey," Eren mumbles, nails scratching along Jean's scalp, "it's my dick, not a spit ball; ease up on the drool."

Jean pulls off with a wet pop and snarls, his nails digging into Eren's thighs. "You ungrateful little shit."

"I didn't say _stop_." Eren paws at the back of Jean's head and lifts his hips.

Jean's going to kill him, because the only other option when Eren is arching his back like he's begging for it is to continue and Jean has more pride than that. Usually. "Why would I keep going when you just insulted my technique?"

"I think it's an insult to the word technique to call what you just did - _fuck._ "

Jean exhales gently against the head of Eren's cock, effectively cutting Eren off as he makes a noise like he's dying, this soft little whine that pitches at the end. He glances up from under his lashes and murmurs, "consider where my teeth are and choose your next words _very carefully_."

"It'll just grow back," Eren says, completely deadpan, like he hadn't been moaning three seconds before, and grabs a fistful of Jean's shirt to drag him up for a kiss.

"I hate you," Jean hisses, with very little feeling; Eren's rucking his shirt up around his shoulders and mouthing at the curve of his jaw, laughing quietly, tiny puffs of warm air against his skin. "A lot."

"Uh huh." Jean can feel the slant of Eren's lips against his throat right before he licks his way across Jean's collarbones. "So, you gonna keep blowing me or what?"

Jean blinks hard at the machine behind Eren that looks like it's starting to spark, shrugs, and goes, "fine, but if you start bitching again I'm leaving you and your blue balls here to rot."

#

"How," Jean mutters, the bitter taste of smoke in the back of his throat. They're crouched behind Hanji's work table as various machines explode or short circuit. Jean's pretty sure at least one part of the lab is on fire. "Just, how?"

Eren's curled up at his hip with slow-healing needle marks all over his arms and a splotchy burn on his shoulder. He stares at Jean softly, close enough that Jean could count every eyelash if he wanted to. Jean swallows.

Then, Eren ruins it all by opening his stupid fat mouth. "Apparently, you are _that bad_ at sucking cock."

"They are _never_ going to find your body."

"Mikasa will make sure they never find _yours_ , either."

Jean punches him, wondering why out of everyone it had to be _Eren fucking Jaeger_ , and, as Eren topples sideways laughing, Hanji walks into the room.

_I should've joined the Military Police,_ Jean thinks, and then the screeching starts.


End file.
